If you have experienced infertility, then chances are you have experienced huge uncertainty.

Like me you have probably found yourself on a roller coaster of endless cycles of uncertainty and fear.

THE NECESSITY OF UNCERTAINTY

If you don’t understand why uncertainty is necessary then she can seem like a cruel bitch.

She is unmovable, inflexible and haves her way every single time.

She is solely responsible for many panic attacks and melt downs I’ve endured along my journey.

Understanding why uncertainty is a necessary part of life has helped me to learn to embrace and even begin to befriend her.

Imagine if everything in life was predictable, constant, unchanging and certain. Imagine how boring and uneventful life would be if this were the way it were.

If you were certain about the outcome of all events in your life, how would you evolve, grow or change?

Looking at it in this light, you can see that uncertainty is absolutely necessary. It’s actually a great gift. 

However, knowing this with your head and understanding it with your heart are very different, especially when you desperately want something.

TOOLS

One thing that helps me quite often when I’m in the depths of uncertainty is to remind myself to come back to the moment and stay present.

I take some deep breaths and remind myself to notice what’s going on in this moment.

Maybe it’s the warmth of the sun, a cool breeze I can feel on my body, the smell of the trees or the food on my plate. Just anything that you can involve your senses in at the moment. Then I remind myself that in this moment I am safe, loved and okay.

A lot of the time this helps, but sometimes I’m just too far gone down panic alley, and I just have to ride my emotions to the end. In this case I try and have compassion for myself and know that it will end, and I will feel better tomorrow. I always do!

SURRENDER TO UNCERTAINTY

Surrender is uncertainty’s sister and is the only way to become comfortable letting go of control.

Surrender requires a LOT of faith and isn’t something you do one time, but over and over and over and over again.

Each time you choose to surrender instead of control the uncontrollable you will see that everything turns out even better than you thought possible.

As you do this repeatedly it will strengthen your faith and you will become more comfortable and at home with the feelings of uncertainty.