Having 9 days to wait, following the transfer before a blood test would confirm or deny pregnancy was brutal. I’m going to be perfectly honest in saying that they were the longest days of my life. I had to religiously and relentlessly keep myself in the present moment, or I would find myself taking future trips to places I didn’t want to go. 

Staying busy and exercise are what I usually do to help me with my racing mind, but because of the circumstances I was supposed to be chilling at home and exercise was a no no. 

Spending most of my afternoons on our little balcony I tried my best to lose myself in nature. The hummingbirds were out in full force and proved to be excellent company. I watched them for hours as they effortlessly enjoyed their crazy birdie lives. 

A few days after the transfer, I started feeling really tired.

If you read part one of my story, you know that there was a previous time that I had convinced myself of pregnancy symptoms only to be devastated by failure in the end. Still a bit traumatized from this past experience I was determined to not let it happen again. 

The night before the test I had a strange dream where I told my sister I thought I was pregnant but was struggling to trust myself because of past failures. 

Finely, the day arrived, and Chris and I walked along the river to our local clinic for the test that would determine our future. 

The rest of the afternoon I laid on the couch doing everything in my power to not think of the possibility of yet another failure. 

My nurse called about 3:00 and over my pounding heart I heard her say congratulations my dear you’re pregnant. 

I let out a sob…

She started telling me about the next steps and I tried to pay attention while at the same time I was on my knees thanking the universe for this dream of mine that had just come true. 

The next couple of days went by in a blur as we called our family and closest friends to let them know of our great success. 

After many years of effort, and then final surrender a long voyage has ended. 

Knowing that I still have struggles to face and faith to build I realize this isn’t the end of a journey but the beginning and I feel POWERFUL and ready.