This is a post I wrote a few years ago, when I was still hoping for a natural pregnancy.

It was a phase of my journey that I needed to go through.

For a long time, I felt like I was supposed to conceive naturally, and that if I didn’t it would mean failure.

 Well, It hasn’t turned out the way I thought it was going to, but does it ever?

This is what i do know…

I wouldn’t change a thing. 

 I want to prove to you, to myself and to that fertility doctor that told me It would be very difficult for me to conceive naturally, that there is an alternative way. 

If sticking yourself with needles, taking medication that turns you into a weak powerless mess, spending loads of money on procedures that may or may not work, suppressing symptoms only to have them come back in full force during and after your pregnancy, and riding that emotional roller costar day in and day out aren’t for you… you have come to the right place.

After two years of trying to get pregnant naturally followed by multiple failed IUI’s the next step was IVF. I was exhausted and defeated. I needed a break from this nightmare that had become my life. 

Taking a step back was the best decision I ever made. It gave me fresh perspective, an opportunity to ask myself really important questions, and the chance to discover what it is I really want. 

Yes, I want to be a mother more than words can express but not just any mother. I want to be passionate about being a parent. I want to feel energized, healthy, fulfilled, and excited every day before, during and after my pregnancy. If one of my IUI’s would have been successful, this dream I have of being that healthy, vital, energized mom wouldn’t have happened. 

I still had and have work to do! I’m currently in the process of getting to the root cause of my infertility. I’m diving deep into my emotions, core beliefs and the dark places in my mind I haven’t been willing to go to until now.   

Requirements during this process are heaps of bravery, faith in a power bigger than me, implementation of routines and rituals, a lot of meal planning, and a gigantic amount of discipline. 

This is the journey I am on. Sometimes it feels like I chose the long route, and I have to remind myself that “fast is slow and slow is fast” I ignore statistics, biological clocks, and negativity at all costs. I stumble and fall down regularly. I pick myself up each time with renewed energy knowing and believing that one day I’ll look into the eyes of my baby and know that in the end it was all worth it.

I would like to invite you to join me on this beautiful journey. Let me help you through your lows, and please help me through mine. May our focus be on all things lovely. May you come to understand that your body is not broken, but beautiful, whole and built to create life. The only thing standing in the way is you and me. 

With patience it is absolutely possible for all of your dreams to become your reality.

We are all individuals. Your path is going to look nothing like mine. My destination will look nothing like yours. With this understanding, it is my intention to share the tools, practices, insights and understandings that I am learning along my path toward becoming a mother and most importantly a happy, healthy, and a fulfilled woman.